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Month: December 2020

My Top 5 Tips if you’re finding Christmas just too much this year

Written on . Posted in Mindset & Motivation.

For many women, Christmas can be stressful at the best of times – food preparation, family politics, gift buying (not to mention the wrapping), financial pressure, balancing getting this ready and other commitments too, etc.

 

2020 is a Weird One (no s**t, right?)

And this year, during COVID 19 it’s quite frankly even tougher for many. It might be that you have recently lost a dear one, are unable to meet up with family or friends, or just simply not be in the mood for celebrating Christmas this year. No matter how you’re feeling, it’s okay to not feel ‘up’ for Christmas or celebrating this year. But it is important that you look after YOURSELF sweetheart and take the time that you need this Christmas for you.

 

Here are my best tips to get through this week with the most joy and peace my darling girls:

 

  1. Do YOUR Christmas. Eat the food you want (hey, if you don’t like turkey, then don’t buy one. Have roast beef instead if that’s your ‘thing’). Or, if you don’t feel like a big meal at all, why not have a special breakfast instead?

 

  1. Allow yourself to feel disappointed. You have the right to your emotions – all of them! If you feel upset by the change of plans, then that’s ok. Feel what you feel, but don’t let them consume you. Think of yourself as a temporary visitor rather than a resident of sadness. Wallowing too long and hard is like a bath – if it’s still warm and you just get in then it does it’s job and is enjoyable. Stay too long and the water gets cold, murky, and doesn’t help you anymore.

 

  1. Make peace with the change of plans. I know it’s so hard if you were planning a visit with family and loved ones this year but it’s a good chance to embrace the new. It can be hard to let go of old rituals and routines but this year you may have to find ways to have a joyful day despite Covid. Try to do things differently this year so you won’t get triggered by memories that could upset you. Press the metaphoric “Plot Twist” button on Christmas this year and make a conscious decision to make new memories.

 

  1. Buy thoughtful gifts for people and don’t worry about the amount – think quality over quantity – it’s not the year to go all out. It genuinely doesn’t matter and it’s a year of not necessarily getting everything you want, but appreciating everything you have.

 

  1. Don’t forget that your motion creates your emotions… Go for a walk­– going for a nice, frosty walk could be a great idea for Christmas day if you can. It could give you a chance to reflect and take in nature, whilst also meeting some fellow walkers along the way for a socially distanced chat (tiers allowing).

 

 

Is it time to make a change?

If you feel like you it’s time to change your life for the better in 2021, I would love you to join me for my FREE Frazzled to Fabulous Challenge which starts on January 11th. Reserve your space by clicking HERE.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photo by Jr Korpa on Unsplash

Why Practicing Gratitude is My No. 1 Tip for Getting You Everything You Want in 2021

Written on . Posted in Mindset & Motivation.

Let me ask you this… “What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” That is one of my favourite quotes from Mary Oliver. I have a slightly different version of this question that I ask myself every morning – “Who is the woman you want to be?”.

 

When we ask ourselves the right questions, the big questions, we are so much more comfortable and confident setting our priorities, our goals, and set our plans and roadmaps in motion. Now is the PERFECT time to get started on your beautiful future life – or build more of what you have now) (whether it’s the beginning of a new year, a Monday morning or a random Wednesday just before dinner – it’s always the perfect time).

 

And we are also much more in tune with our wishes and desires.

 

But perhaps the difference with questions no 1 and no 2 is the thought of gratitude. When you truly take on board the idea that life is so precious (and it’s perfectly ok to be wild, fun and happy too) then gratitude surely must follow, right?

 

What’s Great About Gratitude?

 

Gratitude is my absolutely favourite thing on the planet. Well, maybe not on the whole planet but it’s an amazing hack to feeling better, more positive, and more at peace right now.

 

Truly.

 

It’s a sunshine emotion that helps to dispel darker emotions like jealousy, anxiety, fear etc. it’s like little rays of sunshine that break them up and makes the world a more beautiful place. But it can also bring you more of what you want in life and help you to achieve success.

 

Why is That?

 

Quite frankly, whatever you feel grateful for, and openly practice gratitude for, the MORE of it you have in your life.

 

Gratitude and The Law of Attraction

The more you find something to appreciate, the better it feels; the better it feels, the more you want to do it or have more of it. Then the more you do it, the better it feels; the better it feels . . . the more you want to do it and so on…The Law of Attraction assists with the powerful momentum of these positive thoughts and feelings until, in seemingly a short time, you will find your heart expands with joy, and you feel more aligned with your authentic self.  When you send these out into the universe (not to get too woo-woo about this) you attract more and more of it into your life.

 

How Do I Practice Gratitude?

My fave way is to journal – in a very specific and intentional way. Every evening before bed (turn off the tv, switch off from social media, etc.) and open your journal. Write three to five things that you appreciate most.

This can include people, things, situations, encounters and so on, on any topic. They can be subtle, major, serious or fun. Really feel the appreciation flow through you and notice as your energetic vibration is raised.

 

Mediation Before Journaling

You may find that it’s helpful to do a short meditation before writing. I have a lot of guided meditations that I can lead you through in my Feed Your Fairy Membership – my favourite one before journaling, or creating your vision board, is my grounding mediation, it makes me feel so peaceful and open. But anything that brings calmness to body and mind is great.

 

Is That It?

Not really, but it’s an amazing start. I also tell people how grateful I am for them and what they do (hey, law of attraction aside, if you give wonderful feedback and say thank you, people are likely to do more of what you are thanking them for – that bit isn’t rocket science, right?).

 

I also tell people that I love that I love them and are grateful for them. All the time. It’s so important. Well people feel secure, appreciated and special, they are better in themselves. They are the best versions of themselves. If you love them, why wouldn’t you want them to be the best ‘them’ that they can be?

 

You can also just take a moment, even if it’s just so brief, to be more mindful and appreciate the little things when they arise in the day – a beautiful sunset, a fab parking space, the sound of laughter, etc. because it keeps the sunshine in your heart for longer.

 

Gratitude and Other Benefits

The Greater Good Science Center offers a plethora of information on this subject. In a white paper titled, “The Science of Gratitude” (2018), they outline several benefits to gratitude practice:

  • increased happiness and positive mood
  • more satisfaction with life
  • less materialistic
  • less likely to experience burnout
  • better physical health
  • better sleep
  • less fatigue
  • lower levels of cellular inflammation
  • greater resiliency
  • encourages the development of patience, humility, and wisdom

So, my darling girl, try to cultivate gratitude in your life whenever you can. You never know how far the impacts of a little gratitude can reach.

 

Would you like more?

If you would like daily motivation, inspiration, free coaching videos, and more, please join my FREE Life Coaching for Women by Kate Grosvenor Facebook group.

 

 

Photo by Pedro da Silva on Unsplash

Run the Dishwasher Twice

Written on . Posted in Mindset & Motivation.

“Run the dishwasher twice” might sound like strange mental health advice, but this beautiful lesson came from an answer from Katie Scott on Quora to the question “Has a therapist ever told you something completely unexpected?”

“When I was at one of my lowest (mental) points in life, I couldn’t get out of bed some days. I had no energy or motivation and was barely getting by.

I had therapy once per week, and on this particular week I didn’t have much to ‘bring’ to the session. He asked how my week was and I really had nothing to say.

‘What are you struggling with?’ he asked.

I gestured around me and said ‘I dunno man. Life.’

Not satisfied with my answer, he said ‘No, what exactly are you worried about right now? What feels overwhelming? When you go home after this session, what issue will be staring at you?’

I knew the answer, but it was so ridiculous that I didn’t want to say it.
I wanted to have something more substantial.
Something more profound.

But I didn’t.

So I told him, ‘Honestly? The dishes. It’s stupid, I know, but the more I look at them the more I CAN’T do them because I’ll have to scrub them before I put them in the dishwasher, because the dishwasher sucks, and I just can’t stand and scrub the dishes.’

I felt like an idiot even saying it.

What kind of grown ass woman is undone by a stack of dishes? There are people out there with *actual* problems, and I’m whining to my therapist about dishes?

But he nodded in understanding and then said:

‘Run the dishwasher twice.’

I began to tell him that you’re not supposed to, but he stopped me.

‘Why the hell aren’t you supposed to? If you don’t want to scrub the dishes and your dishwasher sucks, run it twice. Run it three times, who cares?! Rules do not exist.’

It blew my mind in a way that I don’t think I can properly express.

That day, I went home and tossed my smelly dishes haphazardly into the dishwasher and ran it three times.

I felt like I had conquered a dragon.

The next day, I took a shower lying down.

A few days later. I folded my laundry and put them wherever the fuck they fit.

There were no longer arbitrary rules I had to follow, and it gave me the freedom to make accomplishments again.

Now that I’m in a healthier place, I rinse off my dishes and put them in the dishwasher properly. I shower standing up. I sort my laundry.

But at a time when living was a struggle instead of a blessing, I learned an incredibly important lesson:

There are no rules.

Run the dishwasher twice.”

Why is this important?

Anyone who has been in a mental or emotional place where even just the most basic, mundane tasks seem overwhelming understands the wisdom in this lesson. I remember when I was at my lowest point a few years ago, that just putting clothes away or tidying anything in my own bedroom just seemed like a step too far. So it got untidy. And I mean REALLY messy (not just a little bit). So much so, that you couldn’t get to the bed, there was no clear pathway, as everything was just dumped on the floor.

And that was all I could do. No more. When I started my journey back from that dark and cold place, I made a commitment to myself to sort it. As my self respect started to flicker back into life, I wanted to make life better, and just a little bit beautiful again. I started with my bedroom as a representation of this fledgling hope that I could do it.

But the bedroom itself was too big a task, so I just started with making my bed. And then I sorted my dressing table. Eventually the things on the floor got sorted and cleared away and it became a nice place to sleep and to be again.

Now, my bedroom is my sanctuary and is beautiful and serene and very much represents my mindset and my life. Honestly, it’s a thing of absolute beauty and brings me so much joy. Probably more so because it wasn’t so long ago that you would have thought I had given up on life if you saw it before (and I nearly had).

 

The Rules Just Don’t Matter

The point is, I understand when things are just too much. If it’s just too overwhelming to keep it all together, all of the time. Rules are just not important. I promise you. It’s ok to do what you can. It’s ok not to do the washing, or the recycling, or, or, or…

So if you just CAN’T do IT (whatever it is) today, Mc D’s it is for dinner.

If the thought of the kids fighting in the back of the car will bring you to tears, give them the iPads, or the chocolate milk, or whatever helps give you a few minutes of peace and quiet.

It really doesn’t matter. The rules don’t count when your back is up against it. It’s ok just to get through. And if all you did today was hold it together, know that I AM PROUD OF YOU SWEETHEART.

This is just a chapter, not your whole life. It can get so very much better and I’m here to help.

 

How Can I Move On?

If you would like daily inspiration, advice, a beautiful community and so much more, join my FREE coaching group here.

 

 

 

Photo by Ian on Unsplash