Month: January 2021

My Top 44 Ideas to Live by for a Joyful and Beautiful life

Written on 25th January 2021. Posted in Mindset & Motivation.

I caught myself yesterday, just sitting doing nothing in particular, feeling so joyful that I thought my heart would burst. Not for any specific reason, or because of any specific person, but just because I felt it. That joy, that realisation of beauty in my life (which is the new success by the way).

So, I changed my mind about the blog I was going to write today, to think instead about why life feels good. These are the insights into the things I do, and the ideas I live by for (my version of) a joyful life.

Here is what I came up with, the things that add up for me:

Accept your flaws and know that you’re still awesome (be flawsome).
Laugh often. If you’re sad seek out the funny.
Music can change your mood. Uplift yourself when you’re flat.
Journal for gratitude as much as possible. Gratitude is a sunshine emotion.
Do yoga. Bad backs and stiff joints just aren’t worth it.
Make peace with your body. It’s been through a lot.
Meditate for mindfulness – it adds to your energy.
Do what you love.
You life does not need to look, or sound, pretty to anyone else. Live for you.
Don’t save things for best. You are the best. Use them every day.
Love a lot. Choose it.
Don’t judge others or yourself. Let everyone be them.
Live simply.
Say affirmations in the morning so you start your day with beautiful intentions.
Learn to love yourself.
Drop resentment. It doesn’t serve you.
Listen to your intuition/gut – she tells you what’s true and right.
Expand your comfort zone. That’s how you grow.
Believe in yourself.
Do you something just for you. Every. Single. Day.
Be nice.
Have a self-care routine that you do daily/weekly.
Learn to bless & release past hurts.
Turn down the SHIT FM and stop overthinking.
If you don’t know all the facts, you’re storytelling. Just stop because it hurts.
Learn to love your own company. Embrace solitude.
Exercise and move. It’s a celebration of your body not a punishment.
Don’t compare yourself to others – comparititus is the thief of all happiness.
Live in the moment. It’s the only chance at happiness you have.
Drink water. More than you think you need. It changes everything.
Self-reflect. We’re all a work in progress.
Travel and expand your mind.
Don’t eat beige food. Nourish your body. It needs help.
Look for the positives – everything in life is a lesson or a blessing.
Live with passion.
Support and encourage other women. Together we rise.
Stop trying to control everything (and everyone). It’s exhausting and doesn’t work.
Be understanding.
Do what you love.
Learn from past mistakes. Every day is a school day.
Cherish your loved ones – they are so very precious.
Be an authentic and genuine person who does what they say they will do.
Have fun and don’t forget adult play is a thing.
Get outside into nature. It’s good for the soul.

Would love to hear from you too about what makes life amazing for you. You can email me at [email protected] or pop a comment into my FREE Coaching Group HERE

If you would like some help on beautiful living, looking after yourself, with some amazing coaching from myself, and my gorgeous guest coaches, I would love to welcome you to my Feed Your Fairy Membership. Click HERE to find out more.

Photo by Daniel Mingook Kim on Unsplash

Slow Down to Speed Up

Written on 12th January 2021. Posted in Mindset & Motivation.

Slowing down has never been my ‘thing’. I’ve been a go-go-go kind of a girl since being very little and it’s no surprise, looking back, that I was completely burnt out by the time I was 40.

So I’ve basically learned, the hard way, that going at full pelt every day does you no favours. It is, however, still, my default gear and it’s something that I have to work on regularly and consciously so I don’t slip back into old habits.

I’ve also learned, in the last year or two especially, that when I go too hard and too fast – think Wonder Woman I can do everything and anything mentality – that I crash and become sluggish and muddled and basically a heap of unproductiveness, procrastination, and half-finished products.

And Enter Slow Down To Speed Up

This is one of my coaching concepts that I have researched more and more over the last 6 months. Not going to lie, a lot of the guinea-pig-type work has been on myself. I’ve tested my limits. Tested my effectiveness and tasks and had a general play around with keeping on going vs rest to see what brings me the best results.

Here’s What I Found

Planning and spending my time mindfully and intentionally is by far the most productive state of being. I could pretty much end there because it’s one of the most true sentences just as it is.

It makes me both calmer and more focused. It makes me reliable too as I get tasks done in a systematic and pragmatic way. Think less flapping chicken and more owl-like zen.

Plus, getting the same or better results for less effort and stress seems like an awesome life hack, no?

The Secret to Planning

I create a “master plan” on a Sunday evening for the week. I figure out everything that I need to do and then I split them up. I’ve found that the magic number is 4 things per day…any more than that and you are genuinely setting yourself up for failure because you won’t get them done (on the basis of you’re not Wonder Woman) and then you’ve failed for the day rather than succeeded. Put 4 important things on your list, get them done as early as possible in the day, and ta-da! you’ve won.

What this also means is that the important things don’t sink to the bottom of the list and supermarket shopping, laundry, calling your dad, and everyday stuff rises to the top. Keep the mundane tasks off and focus on the biggies.

If I know what I’m doing for the day, I run the day, not the other way around. I get so much more done and have free time left at the end. Again…slow down to speed up. Having structure in your day will give you so much more energy.

Make Your Priorities Guide You

If you can set your priorities for the week ahead (that align with your goals) you can freely so no to anything that doesn’t fit in with them (and ‘no’ is a complete sentence, don’t forget). Saying no to things that don’t fit in with your priorities make sure that you don’t stray off track, focus on the things that are most important to you, and put all of your energy in one direction.

My favourite planner for setting my goals, priorities, and more is The Phenomenal Woman Planner from Leaders in Heels – available from CQ Marketing Academy (click to view).

And Speaking of Energy

The first thing to do is to look at where your energy is leaking the most – which areas are the main culprits – work? relationships? family? finances? I love to do a wheel of life assessment with all of my 1-2-1 clients and transformation programme clients

Figure out then what parts of them are draining… is it your partner’s family? your debt cycle? your children’s lack of independence? The good news is that the simple act of becoming aware of a particular area of your life that’s really draining your energy is often enough to shift things. You may change your behaviour, let go of things you can’t control (think not my circus, not my monkeys), and try and identify which parts you can actually influence.

Add then look at what you can do to add to your energy. It’s often the quiet, mindful exercises that will make you feel grounded, centred and full of energy. Figure out what makes you feel energised and invest more and more in that. When you begin to see your energy as the treasured thing of beauty that it is, you get way more done in less time, you’re better able to see what’s a priority and say no to what’s not, and you get on this beautiful upward spiral where getting more energised simply leads to more energy and so on.

And, Girl, Do I Now Treasure My Sleep

When I learned not to go full pelt all day… fitting in pockets of me time, mindfulness, yoga, walks and more, my days become more balanced and whole. and I could go to bed with a quieter mind, more in-tune body, and calm soul. The result? Better and more rested sleep and waking up feeling refreshed and energised.

So slow down, sweetheart, simplify life to focus and take time for you to mean more things can get done in less time with less energy.

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

The Mindset of Weight Loss

Written on 4th January 2021. Posted in Beauty & Wellness, Mindset & Motivation.

Have you been up and down in weight for years? Do you feel like you’re never going to win the battle of the yo-yo? The problem is, even when we lose weight by ‘dieting’ if we don’t change our habits, then we’ll end up back to where we started (generally, plus a few pounds).

What Goes Wrong With Weight Loss?

The reality is that weight loss starts with a change in mindset. We look at the amount of weight we need to lose as a huge mountain to climb. And guess what? It can be totally and utterly overwhelming and we ‘fail’ when we have a bad meal, or a cheat snack, or can’t resist that slice (or two) of cake. Then when we get angry with ourselves, talk badly to ourselves (‘shaming’ our gluttony, or laziness, or lack of will power, etc.) and the think well, we’ve made a mess anyway now…it’s ruined… so we go and eat more. Sound familiar?

Psychology Vs Biology

As a coach with a background in psychology, I always explain that how you see yourself and your core identity predicts your actions (see yourself as overweight, averse to exercise or unworthy, and you’ll act accordingly). But biology also play a role sweetheart. The stress hormone cortisol, which your adrenal glands secrete every time you get down on yourself or worry about how you measure up on the scale, increases distribution of fat around your tummy. Stress less, weigh less. Food is not a reward, and exercise is not a punishment. They are both ways of caring for your body and helping you feel your best. You deserve both.

Avoid the Sad Step

I hate weighing scales with a burning passion. They are cruel. We can be so dedicated and on it all week and then stand on the scales and BOOM! we’ve gained 2 lbs. So what the hell? Right? It doesn’t work so let’s give up now. The reality is our weight can fluctuate up to 6-7 lbs due to the time of the month, what medication we’re taking, how much water we drink, when we last went to the loo, and so many other factors. Do you know what doesn’t lie? Your waist. Just measure your waist or see how your clothes feel. That will tell you everything you need to know. And by not focusing on weight and incessant weighing, we’re not focused on going up or down per day. This is a long-term gig. I know it sounds trite, but it very much is a change in how you live, not a change in what and what quantity we eat.

What Can We Focus On Instead?

Here is the thing. Health is the key. Seriously. If you focus on what you can do to become healthier, you will lose weight. And it’s not such a specific be-all-and-end-all goal. When we focus on better health – anything and everything you do, and better choices that you make can lead to a longer life, more enjoyment in everyday activities and the prevention of diabetes and heart disease, etc. and will get you closer towards your size-goal (i.e. dress size) as a happy side effect.

The Four Pillars

Every single thing you do towards a healthier life brings you closer to what you want. I always focus on the four pillars with my Feed Your Fairy Membership which are:

Sleep (7-8 hours a night). Your body won’t lose weight effectively if you’re sleep deprived.
Water. Depending on your weight this is generally around 3 litres.
Nutrition. Eat the rainbow. If you’re plate is beige then you’re not eating healthily.
Movement. Every. Single. Day. I aim for 30 mins exercise a day and 10,000 steps. I stretch (yoga) for ease of movement and love a good dance workout.

So What Should Your Goals Be?

Your goals should small, sustainable things over which you have full control. Did you eat five servings of fruits and veggies today? There’s one goal met. What about eight hours of sleep? You can’t control the amount of sleep you get, or the quality of that sleep, but you can control what time you go to bed, and your sleep hygiene routine.

And, My Darling Girl, Breathe…

Take a few minutes in your day to slow down, focus on your breath, set your intentions and connect with your body. It will keep your in line with your priorities but it can also help lower your body’s stress response. This is my favourite way to breathe – it’s called “Cocoa Breaths” and is my technique for breathing in a focused and peaceful way. Click HERE to watch the video.

My Final Tip for Weight Loss

Be patient. I will be the first to tell you it’s not my strongest character trait, but this has to be a change in the way you live and how your treat yourself. If you focus on self love, self care and looking after YOU, your health, your energy, your body because you DESERVE to feel healthy, then you will become more at peace with this journey. It shouldn’t be a battle, but a gentle celebration of self.

If you would like to learn more about my Feed Your Fairy Membership which focuses on this journey or self love and care then please click here.