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Month: November 2020

7 Tips to Make Christmas 2020 More Festive & Joyful

Written on . Posted in Lifestyle & Love.

The reality is that many of us are feeling a bit meh about Christmas this year. It just feels a bit odd. A bit wrong. Some people can just crack on and get their festive cheer up and running, but for others it seems like it just isn’t christmassy enough… the natural excitement is just no where to be found.

So How Can We Feel More in the Christmas Spirit During COVID?

1. Do Christmas the Way YOU Want

First and foremost, please know that this is is YOUR Christmas. Don’t feel like you have to do things for people this year, it’s ok to think what’s best for you. Ask yourself the question, “what do I need to make this special?” and then do that. It might be a huge tree, or a small twinkly one. It could be staying in your pjs on Christmas Day or having pizza instead of turkey. Whatever it is, make it your Christmas and enjoy letting go of any one else’s obligations and expectations. You only have to make you happy this year. So relax sweetheart, there are no “shoulds” for Christmas 2020.

 

2. Make Your Own Christmas Traditions and Feed Your Fairy

Think about the most important little bits, or something you have always wanted to do with your partner, or your kids, for example. Or something you have always thought looked lovely as a child and never tried it.

 

This could be all about you. What would your fairy love this Christmas (what would make your heart vibrate or make your should expand)? Maybe it could be a Christmas Eve Box filled with beautiful hot chocolate, new pjs, fluffy socks and a gorgeous book. Or maybe you always wanted to watch a specific movie – could be something utterly girly and romcom-esque – whilst eating warm minced pies and mulled wine.

 

Whatever it is, it should be something YOU would just love. Even if you’re not doing everything you used to, you can create a beautiful Christmas with new traditions that are full of peace and joy and things that you love.

 

3. Spread Some Joy and Love

If we’ve learned anything this year it’s that how important the people in our lives mean to us. So the is the perfect opportunity to let them know. Write down how much the people you love mean to you and send it out to them, or send them a beautiful and thoughtful letter with their Christmas card. Make Christmas cookies and leave some with your friends and neighbours—or drop off pizza or other treats at a local nursing home, hospital, or fire station to brighten the lives of the people there.

 

4. Realise That Different Might Mean More Special

Quite often Christmas holidays can blend together and we’re often asking, “what year was it when…?”. This is not going to happen this year. We will all remember it and being so different can often make for the most beautiful memories. This year will stand out on its own and we just have to find a way to make the most of it.

 

5. Remember that Singing Is Good For The Soul

Does anyone in your house play the piano that can learn some Christmas tunes? Or do you have a karaoke machine that can play some carols? However you do it, why not have a sing song? Go old school and sing your favourite songs that you sang as a child. Make this the year where you sing out loud (at the top of your voice), dance around the tree, have

 

6. Have North Pole Breakfasts

A North Pole Breakfast traditionally marks the start of your Christmas Festivities; this could be 1st December (to coincide with the first door of an advent calendar and/or a visit from Elf on the Shelf) or your first Christmas weekend when you decide to put up a tree, decorate the house and make a real weekend of it. Or you could simply have one on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day if you’ve got a busy work schedule in the run up to Christmas.

Click HERE  are some ideas for your North Pole Breakfasts from GoodtoKnow.

 

7. Host A Virtual Christmas Party

Just because you can’t get together in person doesn’t mean you can’t see your friends and family on Christmas. Send everyone a Zoom link and host your party online. Make sure you’ve got a few games and conversation starters ready too.

 

Whatever happens this Christmas, it will be one to remember. Remember that we can choose our emotions and how we react to things, so choose how you want to make this festive season special for you.

 

If you would like any more tips, advice, coaching and more, whey not join my FREE Life Coaching Group for Women by clicking HERE.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

Why Do YOU NEED a Vision Board in Your Life?

Written on . Posted in Mindset & Motivation.

Who really NEEDS a Vision Board?

Does this sound like you? Are you struggling with a long list of written to-dos that just seems to get longer every day? Do you seem like you want more, a better life, but have no idea where to start? Are you lacking the motivation and inspiration to really and truly work hard and make your dreams a reality?

You Are Not On Your Own

This is common for a lot of women. We know we’re not quite satisfied with life right now, but may not be sure what it is we want, or may feel too ashamed to say it out loud.

However, with our mind chatter constantly going (what I lovingly refer to as ‘Shit FM’) reinforcing our limiting beliefs – an endless list of all our shortcomings and inadequacies, if it surprising that we feel like we can’t be clear on what we want or have the audacity to ask for it even if we do?

 

So How Does a Vision Board Help?

A vision board, however, will give you this clarity. It will show you exactly what it is that you most want. It’s a sacred space that shows everything that you want to bring to life, and into your life. What we focus on, always expands. Where our thoughts go, the energy flows!

For example, you may want “a better life” for you and your family but what does that look like? You need to get more specific with that goal. When you envision what that would entail, however, if starts to get clearer… we might look at holidays, or a bigger house; maybe it’s more family time and a better work-life balance? This is where a vision board is a fabulous help.

 

But Do Vision Boards Really Work?

Creating a sacred space that displays what you want actually does bring it to life. What we focus on expands. We selectively attend to it. When you create a vision board and place it in a space where you see it often, you essentially end up doing short visualisation exercises throughout the day.

Visualisation is one of the most powerful mind exercises you can do. According to the popular book The Secret, “The law of attraction is forming your entire life experience and it is doing that through your thoughts. When you are visualising, you are emitting a powerful frequency out into the Universe.”

 

Vision Boards Keep You Focused

They are also great for keeping your attention focused on your intentions. It is surprising to most women how quickly that fresh “new year, new me” attitude can dwindle and disappear and blend back into the background with the other things we want and have to do daily.

When you have a vision board, you can jump out of bed in the morning, and look at what it is you want to achieve and focus your mind on how you’re going to get there right at the beginning of the day.  It helps set you in a positive mind-set right from the beginning when you wake up.

 

Affirmations’ Best Friend

It’s also a great way to reinforce your daily affirmations. A vision board doesn’t have to be just images – you can add words, phrases, or sentences that affirm your intentions too.

 

When Should You Do a Vision Board?

Now. Right Now. Do your new vision board on a Monday evening. Do it on a Saturday afternoon. Whenever. The thing is, it doesn’t have to be for the new year, or a new month, or even a new week. Be a rebel, do one on a Wednesday afternoon. Whenever you want to change things around, spice it up, get massive clarity in your life, or take things to the next level with hairy, scary goals, a vision board is perfect for you.

 

Should I Do a New Vision Board?

This entirely depends on two things. 1) is is still relevant to where you are in your life right now? and 2) how many of the things on your board have your already manifested or achieved? (seriously, it’s a thing… I get messages all the time about how many things turn up within days, weeks or months of doing my workshop).

It’s got to still fire you up and make you excited and be what you truly want.

 

Would You Like Some Help Creating Your Vision Board?

My Design The Life You Want Vision Board Workshop is a complete workshop for the gorgeous woman who wants more in life and would love direction to get there.

I truly believe sweetheart that you can have the life YOU want. It doesn’t have to look pretty or sound attractive to anyone else. I am living proof that it’s never too late to redesign your beautiful life – you just have to have a clear vision of what it is and where you want to go.

This beautiful vision board kit centres around the question “who is the woman I most want to be?” and helps you answer that question, design what you would have in your life, and what you need to do to get there.

In the Design The Life You Want Vision Board Workshop you will find:

  • Full Instructional Video From Me Telling You How To Create Your Board (and Complete The Worksheets)
  • Grounded Meditation Video From Me to Put Your In a Beautiful Space Before You Begin
  • Worksheets to help you answer the questions:
    • Which habits Do I Need to Add/Remove?
    • Which Qualities Do I find Most Attractive?
    • What is My Purpose?
    • Who is the Woman I most Want To Be?
    • What Do I have in My Life If I’m Her?
    • What Do I Have to Do To Have Those Things?
  • Beautiful Human Attributes
  • Key Words
  • Uplifting Quotes
  • Universe Cheques

Click HERE for my Design the Life You Want Online Vision Board Workshop

 

 

 

 

 

My Fave 9 Things to Ease Boredom in Lockdown

Written on . Posted in News.

Bored? Aren’t we all?! Lockdown has restricted us, stolen our freedom and, to an extent, our peace of mind. We’re used to being busy and running around, but our hectic schedules are no more, our future plans vague at best, and we are at a loss for things to do.

The good news though is that it’s now acceptable to slow down and live very much in the moment. However, if you’re used to being distracted and occupied for most of the time, this is definitely easier said than done. So, here’s are my fave ways to deal with boredom and fulfil the hours during lockdown whilst you are at home.

1. Take some time to think and reflect.

As adults we are uber busy now, barely standing still. We don’t stop. We relentlessly keep going. Working, balancing, dating, being on social media, pets, parents, kids, hobbies, exercise. Busy. Busy. Busy.

Because of this we don’t have the time to just be. And think. And Reflect. Actually look at our lives and assess what we actually like and what needs to be changed/ditched/upgraded. Use this beautiful time to re-do your vision board (click HERE to see my online vision board workshop), set priorities, re-align with your purpose and much more.

Both reflection and looking to the future are great ways to stay positive during the current situation and, once some form of normality has returned, you’ll be feeling more motivated than ever.

2. Take pleasure in wholesome, old-fashioned activities

Think board games. Think jigsaw puzzles in front of the fir. How about looking through old photo albums for a trip down memory lane and talking about relatives. Or, why not create a playlist for a friend, featuring all the songs that remind you of your time together or your favourite holiday or celebration? A trip down memory lane will make you appreciate the experiences you’ve had and the relationships you still have.

3. Make Music

In the first lockdown I didn’t think there was much more uplifting than the tales of the Italians, who were also on lockdown, singing and playing instruments together from their balconies.

If you have children, you could encourage them to make instruments or make up their own songs. An old-fashioned sing-song around the piano needs to make a come back. It was one of the simplest pleasures that lifts the spirit and makes you feel connected at the same time.

4. Find Your Inner Child

There are lots of fun things that you can do at home, colouring in, the Wii dance game, or the Monopoly set gathering dust in the loft – or have fun with a good old game of hide and seek! Now is the perfect time to embrace your inner child. The world is a serious place right now and, of course, there’s no hiding the tragedy that this pandemic has caused, but adopting your childhood hobbies is a great form of fun, allowing you to get creative and entertain yourself, a distraction from the disaster and unhappiness.

 

  5. Try a New Recipe

Why not experiment with what you have in the cupboards and try cooking a new recipe? There are gazillions of ideas you can find with places like Amazon doing same-day food deliveries, you can get your inner Nigella firing in no time. It could be banana bread or a cosmopolitan cocktail (hey, I’m not judging) but have fun in the kitchen

 

6. Tackle Your Ta-Da! List

I don’t believe in to-do lists, I prefer a ta-da! list so that you tick it off the list and shout ta-da! But I guarantee there are things on your list that need to get done that you just don’t get around to – clear out the dining room, swap your summer clothes for winter ones, clear under the stairs, etc.. You’re guaranteed to feel accomplished once you’ve tackled even one of these tasks.

 

7. Schedule in Some Self-Care (aka Feed Your Fairy)

Ah, self-care – that old chestnut. It’s a thing though. Seriously. The more you top up your cup, the better you will feel. You just can’t pour from an empty cup. It’s not all candles and bubble baths (although that IS a THING).

How you practice self-care (or Feed Your Fairy) depends on what you consider to be enjoyable. If a face mask and a hot bath’s your thing, then you do you! But, for some, self-care could simply be having an hour a day to themselves to colour in or knit. Or a cosy afternoon reading on the sofa. It could be a walk out in the country to clear your head, or baking your favourite cake. Whatever floats your boat, be sure to make the most of the additional free time and do what keeps you well-balanced.

If you need to know how to look after yourself more, take care of your soul, and much more then check out my Feed Your Fairy Membership HERE.

 

8) Loving Connections

Even though you can’t catch up in person with  friends and family, doesn’t mean you can’t see them. When apps such as Zoom and Skype exist, there’s really no excuse not to stay in touch with your loved ones. It’s so important to stay connected during a time when it’s easy to feel very alone. Regular contact reminds us that we are loved and connected.

It could be a family quiz night on the weekend, or a girls catch up with a bottle of fizz. However you communicate in more normal circumstances works online for now.

 

9. Link Boredom To Creativity (Sounds Weird, Right?)

If boring is as boring does then yup, we’re bored. Hands up. We admit it.  Our parents have won. WE ARE BORED. Our diaries are empty and nothing remarkable is going on. It’s more of the same…again.

If we can let go of the expectation of being active, entertained or distracted at all times, taking time out to let the mind wander is beneficial to our mental functioning. To be able to be mindful and do things with purpose rather than rushing like a headless chicken is so good for our cognitive function as well as our soul.

Our own brain’s search for neural stimulation can lead to stimulation of creativity. Doing nothing (not scrolling on social media or watching reruns of friends) means your mind can wander and daydream.

Click here to read my recent article in Clarityy on how to embrace the boredom.

 

Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys

Written on . Posted in Mindset & Motivation.

One of the things I just love about women is their capacity to love and help out others. We genuinely want others to be happy and the vast majority of us will sacrifice ourselves in order to do what we think is right and will keep everyone else contented and give them what we think they need. We offer advice and our insights and truly think that we’re doing right by other people. We’re kind, right?

 

And herein lies the problem. What we “think” they need and we “think” is right.

 

So what is a circus, and what is a monkey?

Picture this… you are the ringmaster in a circus. You have most of the animals and acts working well – a few grumbles here and there but generally ok – and the monkeys are semi-behaving. Not great, but that’s monkeys for you. And someone else comes along and says “you’re not doing that good a job at your circus, and your monkeys are very naughty!” so they decide to step in and take control. And everything goes wrong. The more well behaved animals and most of the acts kind of follow along, although they will miss some of their usual cues so it doesn’t go that well, but it’s kind of ok. The monkeys on the other hand are having none of it. Why should they control their monkey-urges and mischievous minds for someone new? And they get up to monkey business (literally) and start running havoc all over the place.

 

So what was achieved? Very little. You don’t get the satisfaction and sense of self esteem from running your own circus, and someone else has made a bit of a mess of things. They become stressed because they’re managing your circus instead of their own, and you become stressed because you’re relying on them to get things sorted and it starts to go wrong.

 

The Outcome?

And this, my darling girls, is the same as in life. We take on other people’s circuses (life) and, worse still, their monkeys (problems and mindset/mood issues). We do it with the best of intentions, but we just cannot control their thoughts, their lives, their actions or anything else. We can barely influence them.

 

Instead we stop doing what we need to do to be happy and move forwards in our own life and spend energy where it, quite frankly, has no impact and very little influence.

 

Examples

Your mum is feeling lonely. She has stopped working and is at home all day on her own. She calls you at least once or twice a day, and messages even more. Every time you answer the phone, she seems to have a gripe, a problem, or makes you feel bad about something you do (or something you are).

 

So you try and please her. Give her examples of all the things she could do to become busier (her circus), mention all the friends she has, offer to meet up – even though you genuinely don’t have time, etc. She feels it’s not enough and complains constantly that you’re not available and you’re spending too much time on…(fill in the missing blanks).

 

While she’s on the phone, she mentions that she thinks your husband is not happy because you’re not looking after yourself any more. You’ve always had a tendency to put on weight and she thinks this might be why, etc. (this is her monkeys, her mindset issues, not yours).

So you try and justify yourself as to why you don’t have time to go to the gym, and start to feel bad about the casserole you’ve put into the slow cooker for dinner that evening and that you should be eating chicken salad instead.

 

Can You See it?

It’s not your circus (life) or your monkeys (mindset) but you take it on board and feel guilty and stressed. Actually, both these issues belong to your mum. She’s a fully grown woman who, were she not dependent on you, could perfectly easily go out for lunch with her friends and have a great time and have more loving connections that she would really benefit from. Also, the issues around her blaming you for your husband’s unhappiness are a bigger indicator of her own marriage and the guilt she feels but she’s projecting it onto you.

 

So What To Do?

When something is out of your control and you can barely influence it, you need to hand it back to the owner. I regularly will chat in my head “not my monkey, not my circus” so I’m absolutely sure that I’m not taking on board anyone else’s issues or problems. You are responsible for your own life, your own happiness, and your own priorities. Anything else is like opening a window and throwing your energy out into the street and expecting it to make a difference.

 

How Do I Learn To Let Go

Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys is a topic we talk about in my Signature Transformation Programme because it’s such a valuable mindset shift and is so liberating if you can learn to let go of other people’s expectations, problems, and dramas.

 

I run this programme 3 times a year. If you would like to be notified next time the doors open please click HERE to register. Thanks, Kate x

 

PS this topic always reminds me of the poem ‘Invictus’ by William Ernest Henley. Click HERE to read it.

Done is Better than Perfect

Done is Better Than Perfect

Written on . Posted in Mindset & Motivation.

I’m so not perfect

What I know for sure is that I would love everyone to think that I’m perfect. Or at least the old me would. What I know now is that I’m not. I truly am not. I’m a hot mess, super woman, the world’s greatest mum, a great coach, the world’s most rubbish mum, a fun friend, a domestic goddess, a squirrel brain, a hopeless organiser, a fab cook, a useless navigator, and so much more all rolled into one.

And that’s ok. It’s ok to be a contradiction, an oddball, a less-than-perfect person.

So if we can accept that we’re flawsome (Flawed But Awesome) and not a perfect human, can we extend that further too?

Work can be Flawsome too…

What I know about work is that done is better than perfect too. There are times when I’ve tied myself up in knots or burned the proverbial candle at both ends to do something and then had a rubbish day due to lack of sleep or no food.

Another point is that what we can spend extra time and hours doing, might not even touch the radar of someone else. My favourite humans on the planet are the ones that do what they say they are going to do – but that doesn’t mean that everyone has to be perfect and every piece of work has to be in it’s most polished, finished form.

Now I’m not saying, hand in second-rate work, but if I promise you an email about a project we’ve got coming up, I would rather send you a bullet pointed list of my ideas than to leave you hanging around waiting for me. Does that make sense? It’s not about doing things wrongly, it just sometimes has to be summarised or not fully fleshed out yet.

I might want to post something profound on social media but I have 1 minute – I’d rather entertain with a photo of my cat being silly than not put anything at all.

 

And here’s the thing

Would you rather I send a “Motivation Monday” email out on a Wednesday or not at all? Is it better to put the dishwasher on in the morning when you’re feeling ok or do it at night feel really resentful and grumpy? There is a time to do things perfectly, a time to do things well, a time to do things in the right mood, and a time to just get things done. You get to choose which one is the best fit for the job and the circumstances.

 

And here is the beauty

When you can accept that you’re not perfect and don’t have to be, you give other people permission too. They can write back in shorthand, or bullet point answers, or even get things wrong. But because you’ve stopped telling yourself the perfection story, you don’t need them to adhere to those standards either. And that’s freeing, it truly is. Being disappointed in yourself and others is such hard work and takes more energy than needed.

Go more kindly on yourself and others and bless & release unrealistic expectations and it will seem much simpler and easier.

 

Be Flawsome is a concept in my FREE Frazzled to Fabulous Challenge. If you would like to sign up for the next ones you can go to this link and scroll down to the challenge sign up page.

 

What comes next?

If you would like to sign up for my Monday Motivation emails you can do that HERE. If you’re not already in my Free Life Coaching Group for Women you can click HERE to join. Thanks. Lots of love, Kate x